This is TERRIBLE

'I know you like electro', says a brand new E4 Music-botherer called Master Shortie. Well of course he does, and so does the A&R guy who patched together such a lacklustre single and video. This is music-by-numbers at its very worst. The checked shirt, the 'skinny jeans' references, the beat that sounds a little bit like Banquet by Bloc Party (but not enough to necessitate royalties) - it's all there. It won't surprise you at all to learn that Shortie spent some time at the Brit School. Hopefully this doesn't wash with those who've experienced nightlife first-hand.

But I worry about the Skins generation. At the risk of sounding completely ancient, when I was about 16/17 you could go clubbing with a fake student card and/or some unconvincing facial hair. Now we're all forced to carry around a passport or driving licence - even those of us who couldn't possibly be underage. But that's another rant waiting to happen. My point is that sixth-formers now have to spend more time tasting nightlife vicariously. If all you really have to go on is stuff like Skins and Hollyoaks, you're likely to be carrying around all kinds of misconceptions about clubbing by the time you hit legal adulthood.

You might even think that commodified drivel like Dead End sounds cool. Worrying times ahead...